Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

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What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

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Penis.

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A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

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69

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

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Hi I am Michael Jackson... you have any young boys? My park is open :), the "nude dark caverns" can be scary, but I accompany them all, so relax. Moral: LEAVE MJ ALONE! ;(

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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Q-Whos the best server at Sonic? A-Kevin !

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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What has hands but cannot feel? A sociopath; due to his or her mental health condition they are incapable of feeling true emotion.

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You know whats better than 24? 25

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Why was the black man sad? Because his wife and children had been killed in a freak car accident while he had been driving.

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how do you get a clown off a swing i dont know but dont call suzy

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What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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