Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

Yo' mom is so fat, She should probably consider a low fat diet in which no more than 30% of the calories are from fat.

roses are red,violets,are green who tf shit in the toilet?

What's worse than being a midget Being a midget with no legs

What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

What is the difference between a black man dead in the middle of the road... and a deer dead in the middle of the road? One is a human and one is an animal

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin get in the car.

Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

man walks into a bar his lack of awareness means that he didnt notice the maintenance sign in front of him he falls in a 200foot deep hole and dies.

I'm dressing up as a shia for halloween

Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

A man gets pushed in to a pole...

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Not the case here, though.

whats the difference between ian bothom and david gower? shredded wheat.

your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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