- Anti Joke

Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

What do you call a Black Priest? His title would probably be Reverend, and then his last name after it.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice and let the world wonder how you made it.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Accept for cancer.

A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

when life throws you lemons you should watch out or you might get hurt.

"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

Guess where my mom lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my dad lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my aunt lives Utah!?!?!? NO!!!! Trick Question b... she's dead

What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

Whats the difference between Tina Turner and dead babies? I have never fu*ked Tina Turner before.

what did "A" and "B" look for when they went to the beach? what are you talking about? letters cannot travel!

Tilt your screen back

So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question ................

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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