How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

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Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

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1912, the titanic sinks, 1913 ww1 starts, 1939, ww2 starts, 1954, the vietnam war starts, 90's, cold war. wow! the 20th century sucked.

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Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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yo mama is so dumb, she got all Fs on her report

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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What's funnier than a dead baby? An episode of 'Friends'.

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Q: Why did the Unicorn cross the road? A: It didn't Unicorns are fictional creatures.

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My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

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Q: What did the Jewish man find when he turned on his shower? A: gas

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When you have read this, you've already read it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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