Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? The 2 nouns in the sentence has been switched.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? A Banana. The middle aged man opened the door, prepared to distribute candy to the trick or treaters.

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What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

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What did the fat kid get for chirstmas? diabetes

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Why was the boy sad? Because He had a frog stapled to his face

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Kefka > Sephiroth

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What's worse than getting tripped? Getting shot.

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

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Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had three balls.

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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A woman went outside for some fresh air.

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The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

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Q. What has four legs, but can't walk? A. A dog dying of a serious illness...

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

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Dusters blow stuff.

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What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops