What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

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Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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what do u call a man being beaten in the street the cops

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

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how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash trey.

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A Fat person walks out of mcDonalds

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Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

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I remember this one time... I was sleeping... And all of a sudden... I woke up... Yeah.

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Why do dyslexic people stink at typing? c k j a h s d i u p q h g n z v m n k b e r t y o f This is why...

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

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i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

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You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

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knock knock. whos there? the police. we have news about your daughter. She has been tortured and raped and you will never see her again for the man that took her has taken her out of our jurisdiction.

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Women's Rights.

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YOOO MOMMA LIKE A BIG MAC FAT JUICE AND ONLY WORTH A BUCK!!!!

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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