Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

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The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

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I <3 Hitler

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I went to work today....

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun...

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What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Can you help jack Off. The elephant?

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks.

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School

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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Roses are red, violetes are red, I'm colorblind

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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TIMMY

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What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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