What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's more annoying than reading a joke you can't understand? ?????

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's green, brown, red, and is covered with crumbs in a ditch on the side of the road? A girl-scout who got hit by a car...

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A woman was struck and killed by a truck as she crossed the road. Who's fault is it? The woman's, if she hadn't left the kitchen, she would still be making me sandwitches...

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Bee1:Boo Bee2:Boo Look i found 2 boobies:)

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I <3 Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -33

melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did Justin Bieber say when he lost his tampon? Where's my tampon?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what did the boy with no arms get for easter? a cane.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why Lilly fell out of a cradle ? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

whats a bike and rhymes with mike?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Zafarfanugen the third: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bob: Who cares about some dumb chicken crossing the road! I am more interested in why three generations of your family would continually use such a ridiculous name!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -35

what do mexicans and grass have in common You find them both in your front yard

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

why did the physics major drop out of college? because he stumbled onto a finding that made him contemplate life so much that he needed to go to africa to study where the source of the finding where he later caught AIDS from an infected village person, he was later flown back to the US where he was cured out of a miracle but later hanged himself because he was not allowed to go back to africa and find out the meaning of life.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the black man kill his girlfriend? Because it was his mom!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

thumb_up thumb_down -37

why do prostitutes do what they do? Because they have abusive fathers who always used them as sex slaves as children

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Whats the saddest part about the sandy hook shooting? There were still bullets in the clip... Im going to hell by the way.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops