Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? She was paralyzed.

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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A man and a woman are happily married. The die

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What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

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If a small quiz is a quizicle then what is a small test? A quiz.

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Yo momma is so old that she will be moved to a nursing home next week.

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I once met a man named Steve. I said, "Hello."

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What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

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A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

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Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Why did the boy fail math? He got bad grades.

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What's worse than having sex with a woman who has been dead for 10 minutes? Having sex with a woman who has been alive for 10 minutes.

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What is the best way to burn Jews Light them on fire

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What the man from the arapahoe tribe say to the mexican who was living in a trash bag? You should try a hotel room. They comfortably sleep 67-493 mexicans.

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What is shit? It's Deshitified already.

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why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

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What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

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LA Police, Christine Collins called. She wants her son back.

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Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

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And so i say to the preist ........... pass the bananas

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roses are red,violets are blue,faces like yours belong in a zoo,but don't worry i'll be there to,not in a cage but laughing at you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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