scientology.

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How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

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how do demolish a building alkekwhakbar

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How did Pablo get into America from Mexico? He drove here!

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Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

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Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? She was paralyzed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

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CISSY: TIMMY! COME AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK THIS INSTANT TIM: ....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\... *CISSY SMACKS TIMMY AND SENDS HIM TO HIS ROOM WITHOUT DINNER.

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What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

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Yo momma is so old that she will be moved to a nursing home next week.

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A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

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If a small quiz is a quizicle then what is a small test? A quiz.

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A man and a woman are happily married. The die

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Why did the boy fail math? He got bad grades.

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What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

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Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

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What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

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LA Police, Christine Collins called. She wants her son back.

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What's worse than having sex with a woman who has been dead for 10 minutes? Having sex with a woman who has been alive for 10 minutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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