What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.

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why did the man stop his bike he was having a heart attack

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

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It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

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Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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I wonder if God looks at the Earth all these years later and thinks, Man, I really went overboard with the water, didn't I?

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What did the Pitchfork say to the Gremlin? Nothing, because its a pitchfork, and gremlin's don't exist.

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a christian man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a jewish man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a muslim man asked god a question. he too, did not get an answer. an atheist man asked god a question. he got his answer.

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? -A dead baby sitting next to a kid with Down Syndrome.

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

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Error 37.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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4 men walk into a bar. They have fun. ~Yasmin~

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To cause global mayhem.

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what do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a spaceship? a dinosaur spaceship

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops