How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

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Joe: CHOP CHOP KICK PUNCH HI-YAH! Mike:What are you doing? JOE: PRACTICING CHPO MENTAL KICK KARATE!!!!!!!

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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My new friend, aka future fuckbuddy asked me what I do for a living. I told her, I write books. She asked me if I had gotten anything published yet. I told her: EXCUSE ME? DID I SAY I WAS A PUBLISHER? She laughed, for some reason... Good enough of an Antichri... Antijoke.

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Why did the carpenter cry? Somebody killed his family.

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Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

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Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Dave. -Dave who? -Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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Roses are red Violets are fine I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

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Gretta has five legs? -no

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0 1 this is a sad sad world.

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what happened when spongebob and Patrick were mean to sandy? she made a hurricane

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Knock knock.Who's there?Dead Baby.

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

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What is the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Jews are a religious group. Boy scouts are a group of boys who enjoy camping and other outdoor activities.

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A: why do elephants paint their toenails red? B: why? A: so they can hide in cherry trees B: I don't get it A: have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? B: no... A: exactly

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I can be considerate if like someone is burning to death and I was the one considerate enough to lit them on fire... Wait no, I am considerate towards my friends (which are all ladies, all men besides me are obstacles and nothing else) AAAAND my logic processor broke down. Anyway, please do me the honors, take the last message.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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