Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -38

It's like they always say, you get what you pay for. Unless your a woman, then you get what other men pay for.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Do you feel lucky punk, well do ya? ..Umm i'm sorry :/ I'm not gay!... I'm into chicks...you know?!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

live or die you decide to late time to die

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the woman cross the road? Why the hell is she out of the kitchen!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

How did the terrorist die? He flew a plane into a twin tower

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Q: On a plane, a black man does not grab a bag of peanuts, while everyone else does. Why? A: He has allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Girl: Want to stay over at mine tonight? Guy: Yeah I'd love to! Girl: Tough, you can't

thumb_up thumb_down -44

whats worse than finding 10 dead baby's in 1 garbage can... finding 1 dead baby's in 10 garbage can

thumb_up thumb_down -44

my dick is like a bridge. i dont know why.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Don't be ridiculous. Oranges can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

thumb_up thumb_down -48

your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

thumb_up thumb_down -54

If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

whats the capital of congo famine

thumb_up thumb_down +51

tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops