Like to tell patrick porcupine to stop gaming

why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

So there's a monkey in a bar. I forgot the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

If Voldemort was gay who would be his partner? Happy potter

What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

Why was the napkin wet? Some water was on it

i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

What's brown and sticky? Shit.

Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

how do you find will smith in the snow? look for his teeth

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

How do you make a baby cry? You kill its mother.

What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

Tin is a chemical element with symbol Sn (for Latin: stannum) and atomic number 50. It is a main group metal in group 14 of the periodic table. Tin shows chemical similarity to both neighboring group-14 elements, germanium and lead, and has two possible oxidation states, +2 and the slightly more stable +4. Tin is the 49th most abundant element and has, with 10 stable isotopes, the largest number of stable isotopes in the periodic table. It is a silvery, malleable other metal that is not easily oxidized in air, obtained chiefly from the mineral cassiterite where it occurs as tin dioxide, SnO2.

whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

Whats the difference between Tina Turner and dead babies? I have never fu*ked Tina Turner before.

Your mama's so hairy, the only language she knows is wookie.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to go to heaven because his girlfriend Margaret was cooked into chicken sandwhiches, and he had no kids and he didn't want to marry someone else, so he tried to get ran over but no cars hit him so he cooked himself. AND so he became KFC-Style chicken wings. BUUUT since no one ate them, he grabbed them up from heaven and commented on how delicious he was and proceeded to eat more and then exploded, sending him to heaven's heaven. But it was just a dream. And Margaret had to do laundry some more today because he freaking caused a urine tsunami. You're welcome.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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