What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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Let's get some comments on this one! Everyone add a comment with a quote from a movie! I'll thumbs-up the best comments!

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

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What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

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What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

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A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

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Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

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why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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Why was the homeless man lying on the floor? Because he was dead

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out of the chambers...

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What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

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Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Sam Hengal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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