there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead How did the second koala fall out of the tree? it was hit by the first one how did the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game and jumped off

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YOU

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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Why did the guy lie down? He was dead.

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Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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How does a black guy die? He doesn't , he's black

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What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Sex

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A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

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How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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