why does my ass hurt? you have rectal cancer

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Skrillex.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Theres a crazy ass alpaca ready to take a shit on you

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death drives to the bus stop where 3 pensioners are waiting for a bus to london, and says GET IN THE VAN!

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Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 has been convicted on multiple accounts of murder and Grievous Bodily Harm

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What did taxi driver say to the passenger? Where to, sir?

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Women's Rights

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Hi, this is luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

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A black man shoots someone. He was a cop and he killed a dangerous man who attacked him.

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I drive in driveways. I recite in recitals. I play in plays. I park on parkways. My greenhouse is green. And my boxing ring is round. Why does everyone think I'm weird??

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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Are you going to just stand there and watch me burn for i am on fire? Well that is fine because the sensation feels so fantastic. You are going to just stand there and listen to me whine the night away. It is quite okie-dokie for I really love your art of lying! To be certain, I love it very much! I can not find myself telling you what really occurred, I can only explain to you the sensation i felt from this moment. For I have a dagger in my trachea. For the number of days where the do not's fell like the actually do's. I will be very happy :). But where are you trying to walk away from. Than she told me she was leaving. I said no you very certainly are not! Megan Lady-who-sleeps-with-many-men (aka Whore) Fox. We find ourselves back on the day we met...... etc etc, lot's of pissed off Rapper vs. the English language. Than more words fly out of the mouth of the woman that said she "just wanted a hit" than got slapped around the ear by her ex. It is a pointless song. Today's youth is hopeless. (just kidding i love Eminem stay infinite for life)

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An American, an Indian and an African walked into a bar. They had a memorable time together.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I blackmailed his family with rape from Ronald mcdonald

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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i walk into a bar,and then proceed to be taken out because i am a minor -chuckles

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Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

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What do you get when John pulls your toe off the waterfall and takes three from an caramel? -6 to the power of golf.

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How to confuse a dumbass: see next post.

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What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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