How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was six afraid of seven. It wasnt because numbers cant possible show emotions. I

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do u make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Holocaust jokes aren't funny

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

new year new me my nigga's chilling on the couch . he'l be happy if i put my dlck inside his mouth next one: i got 4 but i give it to mr. gore when he say whats your name? me:hey my mane is Erick bryan and my puss* is wet wait nonono :D

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the little boy get from santa claus on christmas? nothing santa isnt real

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man walking home in the dark after a long day at work? His name you racist

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops