How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

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Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

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Ron Paul for President!

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Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

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What did the black person say to the white person I'm black your white

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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Q:a black man walks down the street with alot of light whats happaning he A:is it the parade of light

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Q: How can you tell when your selling a Blondel a microwave A: she will keep asking how many chandler the Tv gets

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What is worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? F*cking midgets

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

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What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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What's weird about four black men in a toilet? No one got shot.

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

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How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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