Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why do vampires drink blood? Maybe if they existed you could ask one.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a black kid with a backpack? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What does a blonde say when she being raped? Ow it hurts stop... What does the guys who's raping her say? Oh shut up you know you like it...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

? The person who made that "joke" down there has no life ?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q:what's black and white and red all over? A:a panda bear that's been shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red. Violets are violet. Violet is a color already.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the clam not like to share? The deep sea is a competitive environment, where survival of the fittest is prominent.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

FOOL TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the black man get arrested? Because he was in possession of powder cocaine, which is a schedule I narcotic in the United States. This incident probably would not have happened if an end was put to the war on drugs, which is notorious for disproportionately targeting blacks and other minority groups, even though whites are statistically more likely to use such substances.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 6's family

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Dig Bick Your dislexic

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I was bitter, nonetheleast because you and I became friends, while someone working for you (at that time it might just as well had been you) was conducting a lot of illegal activities. I kept thinking, why does the guy call himself "the wizard", its the most used name... Why? Because it is the most used name, good luck finding "THE WIZARD" among internet nerds, but then again, if you search for the most famous one, you find "THE MAN", Not only did you tell me at first that you where Nero. Which I can prove you are not, but you know, one side of me was your friend, the other knew I would have to get rid of you no matter the cost, if you kept your activities. SImply put: When I enjoyed our time together, I pushed you away with stupid humor, small insults and etc, mostly in order to protect myself from getting to close with a potential threat for well, security, lets keep it at that.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a woman who can't walk? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops