Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

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what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

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Three mexicans walk into a bathroom they all had to go pee.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

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A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

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Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

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Did you hear the joke about Hellen Keller? Neither did she.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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robin, get in the car.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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roses are red violets are blue I'm ADHD oh look, a squirrel

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

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XD, Okay, but you gotta marry me too XD Its working again I am skipping class tonight, how about you come by uh, the day after tomorrow? And bring condoms I don't have any.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. It was the chickens decision thus, not affecting your life greatly. You should therefore mind your own business and let the chicken live his life with capability of using it's rights.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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What did the boy with a crippled arm get for his birthday? A guitar.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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Black, det er geita, banke driten ut av Anders, han griner, dreper ikke, vil du ha telefonen eller? Jeg kommer med den litt senere, skal bare tørke blodet først pønsha han hardt i tryne blør ifra knyttnevene, skal jeg knekke bena på han eller noe? Geita. Ps Pen fitte har du flere bilder av a elle? Hvilket rom?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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