obama

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roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? The one from the farm across the street. Can Randy come play outside?

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Whats worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bees stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings. Now, if you have been well-educated you should be able to tell the problem with this joke. Unless you know someone whos jewish and lived during the holocaust, you couldn't be sure if three bee stings was actually worse than the holocaust. If ou do however, thats good for you, keep it to yourself.

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Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

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HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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There's a black guy in a mansion. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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What did Chuck Norris say when he stubbed his toe? "Oh shit I stubbed my toe."

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knock knock who's ther? chris chris who? JUST OPEN THE F***ING DOOR AND CHECK IT OUT

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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What's worse than getting raped then killed? Getting killed then raped.

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A spanish comedian walked into a bar. He was on time for his act.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Stop procrastinating.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas? Abandoned

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What do you call an arabic man who sells bombs for a living? A business man.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

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Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

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What do grizzly bears and people have in common? Neither can survive in outer space, due to depressurization, lack of oxygen, and absence of basic survival needs.

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A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

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I'm so full I could stop eating.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny your son let me in mom! Son, I have something to tell you. What? Well, you're actually adopted *sobs*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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