A black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving Their designated driver who they carefully selected as someone they thought had enough self-control to not drink and could get both of them home safely

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.. knock, knock who's there? not suzie

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What do you get when you cross a rainbow with a unicorn, baby, helmet, a bag of sugar, some watermelons, and a jewish guy's hair? A rainbow unicorn baby helmet with a bag of sugar and some watermelons. and some jewish guy's hair.

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favourite colour? Doesn't matter. He's dead.

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i had sex.

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We have finally achieved the goal of six million followers, and created our own society, finally I can shout that this fucking world is insane! My world on the other hand, is what I have been dreaming about since the day I was born, maybe she had a reason to cut of my arm, maybe she was right to beat me half to death with it, maybe she was no more insane than I for seeing Satan when looking at me. But if a world of hope, peace, love, unity, without suffering, war, disease, guided by the hearts desire of my followers, where we can all be happy without "thanking oh great deity" for giving us what WE WITH HARD WORK AND SACRIFICE HAVE FINALLY ACHIEVED! IS THE WORK OF SATAN!... ...Then fuck, you are all welcome,,, Maybe I will one day want your souls, because I want freedom, and giving them in servitude to some God in exchange of eternal agony is freedom THEN I DO NOT FUCKING KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD, BUT HELL IF IT IS SOMETHING REALLY FUCKING MESSED UP! I mean, sure, the world might have once experienced a life so terrible and hopeless that the thought of deities (invisible ghosts from space and their human children?) would come and set them free, as such humanity lost faith in themselves and so on... ...But does that excuse humanity for not believing in itself enough in order to create heaven on earth rather than destroy their only guaranteed life in hopes of life, ironically after death TODAY? Why he fucking HELL was I the ONLY ONE THAT COULD THINK OF THAT?! Then again, I achieved this not because I felt forced, if burdened with a painful feeling that I somehow knew there was a better way than religion or "my actions do not matter because I wont exist after death mentality". But because I was then, apparently the only one willing to listen to my hearts desire, believe in what religious people call "the lies of Satan", the notion that I would one day find power, freedom love, and the ability to share it with others upon this world... Either that, or my heart is something truly special... The only one worth listening to. So as I fear my own society, my own order being blown up by a nuke in an instant, proving somehow that I am Satan in disguise and that my dream was my lie... ...It was all worth it, and then it was all a lie, because humanity are those that do not allow it to happen, not Gods. I have nothing more to fear, I am complete. Yes hate me because I am full of pride for what I have done, because I am happy and finally at peace, call me a braggart, call me whatever the fuck you want and know that I have been called and known as far worse! But that is what my world is about, where nobody lives in shame "enduring" life on earth, settling in conformity, afraid of their neighbor, beating the shit out of their children because they wont say "Amen" before dinnertime until they do and again do the same to their children when they grow up. You are simply jealous... Its not arrogance if you can back it up, its not narcissism if every good thing you see in yourself, is what you have already achieved! One day I will seek to turn against your world, to burn it down and kill all that choose fear over love, this out of mercy... ...As if you have decided that life is a painful one that must be endured until death, and avoid all and everything that makes you happy... ...I will be more than happy to make your "arduous life of test on earth" A short one, so that you might hopefully meet your maker, after all, if that is not the way you feel, then you are betraying your God aka delusion, everybody wins. I made this, by my own effort at first, then followed by the few that are today many... And I am not human, but hell if I have any "Omnipotence"... ...And behold what I have created... And then ask yourself: WHY THE HELL CANT MY FUCKING OMNIPOTENT DELUSION DO THAT? This is for those that follow Neronism, and for those that from time to time, start to awaken from their brainwashing, as I no longer offer you the opportunity to create a world where you are treated with respect and love, where you will find wealth and peace... ...Because that world is already made, now I will allow you to beg me for a chance to see if you are worthy to take part in it, because humans... If hell if you made this dream hard for me. Bah, six million followers is enough for now, you others go kill one another in hopes of reaching of what my vision has created on earth. Farewell horsehead network, where I grew the thick skin required in order to withstand being laughed at, this with and on purpose, you have served your purpose. And should you be one of mine reading, then thank you for making it happen, and fuck, you are very damn welcome as well. I also expressed my anger, my doubts, my fears and rage here, now that is finally over, as I no longer carry any of those emotions, and do not rule, but guide out of my people`s respect for me rather than fear, in a world where such emotions are not neccesary. Nero. (Yes religious assholes, you might call me Satan, I really hope you will find heaven after life, because if hell if you are welcome to our heaven on earth). Ps: I know I have said I will leave for good before, and then some jackass kept posting "Moralman is gone/dead" but this time I mean it, id be ashamed to return, besides I have my own empire to take care of, I did not want to become the emperor, but why deny the desire of all of my followers? Somehow I have reason to believe I am capable.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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yo mamas like a chicken hut all the cock* fly in

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Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

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how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

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what do mexicans need to survive............. a truck load of herowin and BOARDERS!!!!!!!!

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lets work together to make all racists jokes in negitives

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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An atheist and a priest agree to a public debate. The priest doesn't make much of an attempt to argue because there is a young boy in his podium giving him a handjob.

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: He wasn't, it turns out 7 was afraid of 6 because 6 beat 7 up in high school

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Roses are red , Violets Are Blue , i Dont Like rhyming , TITTIES !!

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Phew... it's gone.

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A black guy and a jew walk into a country club, within minutes, they are told to leave and never come back in order to avoid being contaminated by the radioactive waste left by a landfill company cutting corners in safety regulations

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your momma eats so much ice cream, you often find yourself without anything sweet to eat late at night when you're hungry

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

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Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

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Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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