Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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I don't think Holocaust jokes are funny, Anne Frankly I find them offensive.

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What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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Stop with the 9/11 jokes guys. They're just plane stupid.

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What's flaming and has wheels? A firepit. I lied about the wheels.

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What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

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it's weird how Jesus came out of the cave on the same day as Easter

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

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What's blue and white and can't climb a tree? A fridge in a denim jacket!

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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It's long!

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What Do You Call A Fake Noodle? ----An Impastaaa!!!!!

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.....

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

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Why did the student cry when he got an F on the test? because his dad beats him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was suicidal.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have outsimers Wait what?

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What's 9+10? 19

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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