What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

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Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

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What's funny about anti-jokes? Nothing.

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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What's funnier than one anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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How many blondes does it take to skrew in a lightbulb? Usually just one.

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A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

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What's the difference between Josef fritsal and a fridge? A fridge can be thrown at a bowl of custard.

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Bitch

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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Roses are black Violets are Black I'm Hellen Keller

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What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

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Why can't Tommy ride his bicycle? Because Tommys' bike has a missing pedal.

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What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

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One day a married couple have a conversation. The husband says, "Make me a sandwich." The wife says, "Okay, what do you want on it?"

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Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

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4 men walk into a bar... Don't jump to conclusions! They were gay.

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a girl got a friend request from a unknown guy. she chated him asking who he was. he replied vamos a tener sexo caliente y vas a pedir mas rapido mas duro! vamos ser estrellos porno. the girl deleted him as a friend B.A.

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5 - samios in a wheelchair.

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Roses are reds violets are blue when your parents says your beautiful they're lying to you

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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