Q: why did everyone on the ship drown? A: Because the ship sunk

what did the kid with no head get for his birthday? A coffin.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple

Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

The Female Orgasm

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

A caar pllus itno a graege. You are probably dyslexic.

what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

Why does people with tourettes curse so much? Fuck should I know?

This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

Knock Knock who's there docter docter who??? YOU JUST SAID IT DUMBO!!!!!! lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

What is Corey Jacobs favorite kind of sandwich? Big Jumbo Kahona Burger!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...