I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

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So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Frances. Frances who? Frances Payne.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to a near by hospital where he is treated for a concussion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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billy has 100 candy bars he eats 78 of them what does he have now diabetes

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John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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What is 1+4x : No i will not take my pants off!

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Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

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What's the heaviest part of an elephant? Its body.

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Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

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There's two people, one wearing a nice sweater and the other is not. The one without has to walk the dog, so he asks the other guy if he can have his sweater. He says "No but you can wear it."

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Why did the dog stop barking. It was given a good reason to.

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Knock knock come in.

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

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justin bieber: ask me if im a boy are you a boy? no.

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A guy asks his girl friend to marry him and she says yes, so he buys her a new car - a Lamborghini Countach - she loves this car and she goes everywhere in it. One day, she picks up her kids from school. She's got a boy and a girl. As she's driving down the road, a car pulls up in front of her and they have a really nasty accident and she falls into a coma. When she wakes up from the coma there is a doctor next to her and she quickly asks doctor, "Where is my son? He was really good at football, he could have played for England and been better than Beckham." The doctor replies, "I'm so sorry, in the accident he lost his leg he won't be able to kick a football any more." The woman asks about her daughter. "Doctor, where is my daughter? She was really good at tennis and she could have been the best in the world and won at Wimbledon." The doctor says, "Sorry but in the accident she lost her arms and she won't be able to pick up a racket any more." She begins to cry. "Doctor," asks the woman, "how long have I been in this coma?" The doctor replies, "Six months." "So what's the date?" asks the woman. "April 1st," says the doctor. The woman begins to laugh "So you were joking then, were you?" Doctor: "YES... they had minor breaks and cuts but both have made full recoveries. I'll get them and your fiancé down here straight away." The woman is relieved and is discharged three days later to continue recuperating at home, while the doctor is sent to a tribunal for tricking her into believing her children had been maimed and eventually accepts early retirement with a generous severance package.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops