ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

Two Jews walked into a bar. Then bought it.

a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar they are good friends and enjoy alcoholic beverages.

What is Lady Gaga's real name? Who the crap knows?

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

A black man is sitting in front of the bus Then he respectfully gives up his seat to an elder woman

What's funnier than slapping a girl? Calling the cops on the person who slapped her.

One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

Hitler and Jews become friends.

Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

Q. Whats long and and can drip out fluids? a tap.

Why did they call the woman crazy? because she drowned her children in a lake.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being dragged to his death by an 18 wheeler.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

What do Sandusky and micheal Jackson have in common? They are both white.

What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

Thumbs up if you're reading this in 2015!

How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

What do you call a white guy with no friends? A white guy with no friends

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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