whats fat and ugly ? aidan slattery

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Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

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what did the bull say when it got shot? nothing... its a bull

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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how do you keep a bunch of black kids from jumping on the bed? your real firm with them and tell them someone may hurt themselves if they don't stop with the horseplay..

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Chip and Dale walk into a bar. Chip is black now.

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why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

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Three men walked into a bar. You'd think one of them would of ducked?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Die.

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One time I walked into a fat kid..

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did you hear the joke about the lobster and the clownfish? no.. oh.

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

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What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? "Holy-Shit."

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knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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