hey i just met you and this is crazy so heres my number actually is dolan

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats black and yellow and screams? A bus full of black kids going over a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. What did the gay kid say to his group of straights? A. 10 dollars to the first one to tip over that little asian boy on the bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call your mum without an umbrella? Saturated Fat

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

So FDR walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the chicken cross the road ask jake darby

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Smeg...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

R.I.P. Steve Jobs

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your Mom

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what is white and sticky a stick from a birch tree

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is worse than ending and apple joke in the holocaust? Getting raped by a goat

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why was the black guy running from the cops? i dont know either

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the crowd do when a lion walked into the bar? Got up and left because they realized the potential danger of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops