What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is there such a big box because there is some writing down here :)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

thumb_up thumb_down -3

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family attempted to cross the road approximately 30 seconds earlier and were immediately struck by a moving vehicle traveling at 45 miles per hour. He crossed the road to try to comfort his family while they took their final breathes of life. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a man that had recently been laid off from his union job and came down with a disease that is considered uncurable by modern science.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock! Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who. *giggle*

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

osama bin ladin is dead. let's get a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops