what do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting at your doorstep? matt what do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water? bob what do you call a man that just had his daughter taken away from him? ...sam

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a porsche? i don't have i dead baby in my garage. That would be wrong

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Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

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Your moms so stupid that she called me to get my number

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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3 strangers were locked in a dark room they turned the light on, unlocked the door and proceeded with their day.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Go up to her and say, "The bookbag coffeepotted the ice cream wedding! Is it gosling for you to rectify this pane of glass and oceans? I won't be able to berry a giant squid before the cows arrive."

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Fathers Day at Tyrone's house.

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are violet

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

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Knock Knock! FUUCKKKK OFFFFFFFF

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Do you smell that? Sex and candy?

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If you add two 1's together its 11 if you add two 2's together its 22 If you add two 3's together its 33 So what happens if you add 4 and 4? No you dumb-ass its not 44, its 8

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8=> >->-o

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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