Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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Are yu mad Twinkle twinkle little star if yu don't shut up I'm gonna hit you with my freaking car

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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How do you get a n***r out of a tree? Cut the rope

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There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

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what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

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What do you say to a black man with a gun? Don't shoot me.

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Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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what is black and green and red all over q: Nothing, you cant have 3 colors on the same surface

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Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Frances. Frances who? Frances Payne.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

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when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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