What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

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what is funnier then this joke? A jewish muslim that is asian, balck, and mexican,and is woomen crossing the border then geting shot and hung by a rope of dead babies

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The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

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Knock Knock Who's There Your doctor... You have Aids

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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What do you call a man with one ear? A one-eared man.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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What did Facebook say to Twitter, and twitter to blogg ant blogg to youtube? nothing. They cant talk..

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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What should'nt you say to a rape victim. Rape.

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what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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A man walks into a bar with tears rolling down his cheeks. The bartender asks why are you so blue? The man says he has blue skin disorder and that everyone has been making fun of him...

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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What do you call a black man who likes watermelon and fried chicken? Someone who likes good food.

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What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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