Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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What happened to the soldier who go shot while fighting terrorists in the middle east? He died and had a proper funeral back in the town/city that he was born in.

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What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Penis

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A man walked into a bar and asked if he could use the toilet The bartender told him that it was for paying customers only The man walked up to the bartender, ordered a drink and then proceeded to go to the toilet He came back feeling refreshed, finished his drink and said his goodbyes

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how much could a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood? it doesnt matter because they can not chuck wood

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Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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A muslim walks into a airport. He then boards his flight and is flown to his destination.

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why did suzy fall off the swing? she has no arms, knock knock who's there? Not suzy!

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Why was the African american pulled over in New Jersey? He was 17 and didn't have his red stickers.

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How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

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Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Were both dogs!

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Why Do Girls Have holes?? For the guys poles.

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Why can't the toucann fly anymore? Because they're extinct

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was white

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"Oren" Tifa is not around here, besides she does not like you anymore, get lost you wacko!

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There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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