Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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Why did the guy to the moo moo cow say? Yesterday, I took a crap at the restaurant and the toilet got stuck so I stole the vehicle and won the lottery.

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What's better than seeing a Detroit Lions game? Not being in Detroit.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

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Why did the boy jump off a bridge? Because he saw it on tv

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What is a vampire's favorite desert? Assuming they are real I dont think they would enjoy it in the daylight, so really there's no point.

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Justin Beiber's Talent.

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Obama

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

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Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

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Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

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A blonde walks into a drycleaning store 2 pick up her clothes and as she walks out the empoyee says cum again and the blonde says shut up it was toothpast this time!!!!

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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noah is a scrub jungle

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

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Did you hear about that superman guy? He died.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

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Why did the dyslexic chicken cross the toad? Because the toad mocked his dyslexia, and the chicken does not tolerate rude bastard toads.

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Penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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