how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

Roses are blue Violets are green I have issues, What should I do?

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

2 gay men walked into a bar, The next day they want back to the bar, They went back on the third day but only 1 man came back out and he was in tears, This was because the other man had a cardiac arrest and died.

How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

If I was a backstabber, you would have been dead already, without me having anything to do with it in the first place, listen, we cannot change the world, those that control the media, control the world. And our role was the opposite, we wanted people to find their individual selves and put their talents for use for themselves and us, today the media tells people who they are, what they like, and what to eat and wear. None of us can do this, point zero is gone, its simply a matter of time, but if you want to try, I can do what I can, in hopes of delaying the inevitable.

What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

Who visits Satan on Christmas? A dyslexic box.

What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

why cant stephen hawking dance He does not enjoy dancing

Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

roses are red carnations are white dont go to bed or ill f**k your friend dwite

how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

What happen to the girl that received chocolate on Valentine's day? She had a allergic reaction.

Why does the man ignore his wife? Because he is dead.

What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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