A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I once had a friendly cohort, whose limericks often ran short, but this one doesn't, I don't know why, Also, he often can't rhyme.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

HEY YOU!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A dyslexic man into bar walks a.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a bloody Jewish guy nailed to a piece of wood. Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Their is a stripper, a prostitute, and a pole dancer on a plane that is about to crash. They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

hey hey apple

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why cant stephen hawking dance He does not enjoy dancing

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops