Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A woman walks into a bar. Since having equal rights, she too falls unconcious..... Several men walk toward the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the boy yawn? Because he was tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops