What do you call a black man with a Ph.D? Doctor.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number, so she rolled up her sleve

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a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

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Whats the difference between a car and a baby? I would have a hard time throwing a car.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

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A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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how did the girl die? she read all of your terrible anti-jokes.

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what ate all the ants in the hill? an anteater

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A priest, a paedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. And that's just the first guy

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The Chinese government. The way they treat their citizens just isn't funny.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Hi i'm Steve, it's nice to meet you

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

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I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

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Why was the girl sad? Because borat came had DA SEXI TIME with yo mother in law:)

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Q: What happened when Paul couldn't decide on Pornhub or Redtube. A: nothing since he doesn't have a d***

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Sometimes I don't make sense, but when I do, I don't

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Wii.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a rock? The rock doesn't cheat on it's wife.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Why was the Pædophile arrested? He hit his wife.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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