Why can't Tom Maynard play cricket anymore Because he's dead

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A homeless man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says it'll be $4.50. The homeless man doesn't have any money so he leaves.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

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Why can't helen Keller read? She's dead.

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Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

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Your mother is so nice, I saw her while grocery shopping and we pleasantly chatted. She also remembered my name and invited me to come over sometime and have a snack.

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what did the boy get after his first communion? unwanted intercourse with his priest that resulted in scaring him for life, until the day he killed himself because he could never get over it.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

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what did the black kid get for christmas? I dont know....whatever he wrote on his wishlist.

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Smelly Indians.

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What did the turtle say to the hare? Nothing. Animals can't speak.

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What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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yo mamma so black, she was left out in subzero temperatures for an extended time period and suffered major frostbite all over her body, causing it to become grotesquely black.

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An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

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Why Did The Horse Cross The Road? He Couldn't Because He Was Still-born

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Knock, Knock. Come in!

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What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

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Your mums a potato

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Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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