Sarah Palin

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In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

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What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What happened to thepeanut who went to NYC? He was assulted

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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why did the man fart? because he felt like it.

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What do you call a barrel full of monkeys? A game, you idiot.

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Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

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What's the deal with airplane food? I've never tried it. I'm just curious how it was.

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I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

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what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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why did joe drop his clock? billy ran into him, therfore making the clock wobble in his hand until it fell at 34 mph.

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There Are 2 People A lack Person And A White Person, The Black Person Looks Over At The White Person And Said, "Hi Tyrone!"

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where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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