I went to school. Then I came home.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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I had a really funny joke about a dead baby...but I threw it out

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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What did the ginger say to the blond? Hello, what is your name?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

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Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

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what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

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What do chinese people eat? Chinese food.

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how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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Whats black and white and red all over Racial violence

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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