Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

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Why was the Asian guy dumped by his hot girlfriend? Well you know what they say about Asian guys.... They are too dedicated to their schoolwork.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

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Have you seen the Hobbit? Yes they're taking him to Isengard

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How come Kristin cant go play soccer anymore? She broke her leg kicking her brother in the face.

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots, "Long day?", the bartender asks. "Yeah", the man replies, then he goes home and hangs himself

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Hello? Hi. Who is this? Yo mom. Your not my mom. Im the Irish man that did your mom.

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The game.

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Wolf Wolf who? Wolf who!? Is that really the first question that comes to mind when confronted with a talking wolf?

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Why were there a series of riots in london? The police shot and killed a man who was threatening them and thus caused his friends to get angry and caused other people to lose control.

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Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It's still in its pen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

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Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

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I like it, I like it becuase it is cream

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What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops