A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Q :Why cant mexicans be firemen A :because they get mixed up by Hosea and Hose B

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If the black man lives in the black house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The white man. As unfortunate as it is, racism is still a very integral part of society, and the social dominance the white man holds in countries like America are not to be so quickly forgotten.

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Why couldn't the man lick his elbows? Because it is scientifically proven that over 98% of humans can not lick their elbows.

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(Pretend that your adopted, and no one loves you) Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Why did the chicken run across the road? It was 9/11

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It's yellow and when you press the button, it becomes red... A baby chicken in a blender

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

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Girls get fucked Boys fuck Gays puke

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What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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25

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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Why does life suck? Because it does

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Why did 16-year-old girl scream in the basement? She was being raped.

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Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

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Did you hear the joke about Hellen Keller? Neither did she.

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What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

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THUMBS THIS DOWN AND I WILL KILL YOU! TOTAL PEOPLE DIED FROM THUMBING THIS DOWN: 147289347809237489

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How did the girl get hit by a car? Better question, How did the car get in the kitchen?

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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What was the prostitute's favorite number? 68

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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