Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

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How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

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Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

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What's woman spelled backwards? Sandwich-maker.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Sigh... You know life, you start all optimistic and "I am going to be wealthy mommy and stuff" Then you know, life turns not quite out like you planned it, and, well, you wish you had made some other choices you know what I mean... Your grades where not that good, that girl you really loved did not like you back, you know what I mean right? ...Well I don't, how is it like?

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Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

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what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? pretty much everything because dead babies aren't a laughing matter

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Your Mom

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What is worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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Why did the hamster not eat it's food? Because it wasn't hungry.

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-What do you call it when a female and male are together? - A very serious relationship.

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Why was the little boy crying He had a frog stapled to his head

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What did the little boy get from his visit to Penn State? Raped.

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Why did the Police Officer pull over the black man? The black man was not following the rules of the road and accepted the ticket with great remorse. The Officer then proceed to pull over a white man for this very same offence.

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Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could be slaughtered and eaten for dinner.

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Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

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why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

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never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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