Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

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Two nuns in a bath, one nun says to the other "wears the soap?" the other confused replies "I am sure you mean 'where' is the soap" and hands her the soap.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

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THE GAME.

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? fried chicken.

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Why did the turkey cross the road? His friend, the chicken, had just been hit by a passing car.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What's red, black, and green all over? A dead black bear. Just no green.

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so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

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4

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What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

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My favorite word starts with F and ends with U-C-K! My favorite word is FIRETRUCK! What'd you think I'd say? My favorite thing starts with P and ends with O-R-N! My favorite thing is POPCORN! What'd you think I'd say?

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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A man goes to the till of a 7-11 to buy a 12-pack of condoms. "Busy night?" asks the cashier boldly. The man complains to the store's manager about the cashier's misconduct and she is given a formal warning.

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Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

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A black man and a white woman cross paths while walking on the sidewalk. After greeting each other, they continue on their way. Each goes on to enjoy their respective day free of racism and sexism.

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what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

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Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

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Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

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Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

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What did the blonde get for Christmas? A Brain

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Q:What's the difference between my refrigerator and the trunk of my car? A: There isn't a spare tire in my refrigerator.

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What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

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What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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