- Anti Joke

"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

Adam ci ?mierdz?cy kutas mi sie ya mam

what do you think when you see someone throw a man with no arms and legs into the ocean? chances of survival are minimal

What happens when someone with ADD tells a joke? I forgot.

Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like to rhyme Microwave.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Tell her something that doesn't make any sense at all.

What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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It smells like triangles in here.

What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

What is yellow and fluffy? Green fluff, I lied about the yellow part.

Every time im sad, I think of a T-Rex trying to put on a hat.

WEED!

knock knock get lost!

If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.