How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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Bob dole

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing.

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how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

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Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

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A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it didn't the hunter shot it

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There are two men waiting in line at the supermarket. One of the men reaches forwards and taps the other one on the shoulder. He says, "You dropped your wallet.". He picks up his wallet and both of the men continue on with their day.

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once upon a time there was a boy

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Why did the mean have to clean up the mass amount of dead bodies? Because he lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.

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bees knees

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why did the boy have to go to the dentist he was hit by a brick

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What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

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Your mother is so fat she sometimes eats a normal sized portion of food and does not feel satisfied

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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Why did little tommy fall in the well. Because he grew tired of his life of brutal Beatings and starvation, so he jumped.

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- Do you want to hear a joke? - No. - Ok.

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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An Asian Man Has His Eyes Wide Open

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? The black guy is a sentient human being, and the bucket of shit is just a metal container filled with feces

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Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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