Q.whats the difference between a women's argument and a knife A. a knife has a point

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What did the Lightning Bolt say to the Thunder Cloud? WATTSup?

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like this joke for a free ipod nano or a dead baby ?

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

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why was it funny that the boy got a razor for christmas because he had leukemia

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Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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A fish swims into a wall. It does not say anything, seeing as fish do not possess vocal chords and therefore are incapable of speech.

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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Mitt Romney penis

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What's worse than being a ginger? Being a soulless ginger

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Why did Edna fall off a cliff? Edna is blind, and so lacks the visual perception and spatial awareness of other hillwalkers.

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nipple

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Let me tell you this really funny Dane Cook joke.

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What did Helen Keller say to the leper? Buaaaaguuuhloo

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots? It depends on what his name is.

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text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

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I have a dig bick . . . . . You have a dirty mind.

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Why did the black girl and white guy have sex? Because they were both sexually attracted to each other.

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No Neither have I

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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