How many pairings of animals did Moses collect before the rain started? 1. 500 2. 50000 3. 500000000 4. Nobody really knows 5. It was Noah... Moral: Lol.

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What's worse than losing $100 at the racetrack? Losing at Russian Roulette

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a man shoots his mother in-law He his charged with murder and will only be eligible for parole in 18 months

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

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Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

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Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

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Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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How many carrots can you fit in a truck Depends who's driving

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How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

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What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

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Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

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Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

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This made my day: The Japanese verb "to drink" is "nomimasu". [L]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

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why cant stephen hawking dance He does not enjoy dancing

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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How do giant spiders like to spend their weekends? Eating Orphans.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Plenty of things

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Pineapple.

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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