- Anti Joke

So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

The white supremisist woman with anxiety dialed the suicied help hot line. The operator that answered was clearly African-American. She then hung up the phone and continued to call back and try again.

A man is so drunk that the alcohol has a biphasic effect on the body, meaning that its effects change over time. Initially, alcohol typically produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Increased consumption, however, can lead to dehydration, coordination problems, blurred vision, and a great number of health, medical, and social issues and other drinking problems caused by alcoholism. As articulated above, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to drunkenness. One of the short term effects of intoxication is the lowering of an individual's inhibitions. As a consequence, when people are intoxicated they frequently do things they normally would not do while sober, often ignoring legal, ethical, social, and moral or religious norms. While blurred vision, slurred speech, dehydration, and coordination can be labeled as "alcohol short term effects," other health problems such as alcohol related heart disease, liver disease, and cancer, on the other hand, can be labeled as long term effects of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This, however brief, is an overview of the effects of alcohol. What remains to be discussed, however, is what Paul Harvey calls "the rest of the story." Essentially, "the rest of the story" is a more detailed analysis of how excessive alcohol affects an individual's life and the lives of those around him or her when the person becomes an alcoholic and suffers from alcoholism. Perhaps the most logical way to discuss this complex topic is to focus first on the classic alcoholic behaviors and effects of alcohol in the four states of alcoholism; then examine some of the "social effects" of alcohol and alcoholism and finally, discuss the medical conditions, health issues, and drinking problems that are caused directly or indirectly by alcoholism.

How do you know that someone is polish ? They smell funny

I met an Asian man in Beijing, and he had very small feet. You know why? He was a midget.

Knock Knock Whos there Who Yan Who Yan Who Chow Yan Chow

If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

I had sex. Just kidding.

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

Why is pi? Because circles.

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

why was the chinese man so good at math it was his favorite subject

What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? It gets wet.

Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

What did the blonde say to the brunette? We both have hair

How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding, it got hit by a car on the way to the other side.