What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders whiskey. An American enters the same bar. He orders a beer. A blonde Frenchwoman enters the same bar. She says "Gimme whatever the Irisman ordered! Double it! He's cool!" She started talking to the American

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

Drunk irish man

A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

Knock knock, Who's there? Jason. Jason wh-(death sound when being cut by chainsaw)

A daring man once said "Here goes nothing!" Anddd nothing happened.

Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

ok, a family walks into a talant agency, the talent agent says "What can you do". The family breaks out into a sing and dance routine, and do nothing sexual in their routine.

A woman was at a family reunion and her husband's mother walked in. She has a chocolate allergy so the woman says the her husband,"I need more chocolate!"

A man walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because it is a bar for cats only.

What happened when a Blonde girl and a Ginger man have sex without a condom? The woman gets pregnant and then after about nine months the woman gives birth and the child grows up, when the child is adolescent it is able to reproduce and the process continues again.

I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

Yo mama's so ugly that the majority of people find her physically unattractive, but I hear her personality if great.

What do a Jew and a Vegan have in common? They both won't eat pork products.

Your mother is so fat that when she went to the doctor he recommend she lose weight or risk high blood pressure and heart attack

What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

What do you call a room full of lawyers? A group of legally educated professionals.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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